Maybe you have seen the headlines already, "Olympic hopeful struck by car" or "Community rallies around injured runner." Jenny Crain, 39 of Milwaukee, is a very familiar name among local and national runners. I had the privilege of meeting Jenny and running with her back in 1996 at the University of Wisconsin Parkside. Jenny, who went to Franklin High School and Ohio University, called my Coach and asked if she could train with us. She was a wonderful addition and inspiration to all of us runners at UWP. The determination and her spirit inspired us all to be better runners. Jenny now lies in ICU with a swollen brain. All we can do is wait.
Jenny helped me qualify for a big race back in the spring of 1996. It was the outdoor track season and our coach had lined up some tough Division I races for us, but we had to qualify with some pretty tough times. We were trying to get to a race at the University of Tennessee – a great road trip. My chance to make it was in the 3000, not one of my specialty races. Our qualify race was in IL somewhere, I can't even remember. Jenny was with us and ran the 5k. My race was about an hour after. My teammate and I had to run 10:13 which was a big PR for the both of us. I was so nervous and not positive at all. We asked coach if Jenny could "rabbit" the race for us and get us on pace. She was so excited to help us. She set the pace for us and coached us throughout the race. I remember her saying, "come on, lets go" and "you are so strong, you can do this" and other encouraging words. She made the race so easy and we both ran our personal bests and qualified for the race in Tennessee. Jenny introduced me to Krispy Kreme donuts on that trip to Tennessee. I remember when she saw the sign, "fresh donuts" she yelled at coach to pull over and go through the drive through.
My last "run in" with Jenny was the Bastille Days run on 2006. I was warming up and ended up running next to her. I said, "Hey Jenny, not sure if you remember me" and she gave me a hug and said, "Of course I do Tracey, lets go do some strides."
That is Jenny. She is so positive and full of energy. She is always so fun to be around and just a strong, amazing woman. She has touched so many peoples lives. The running community is in a state of shock right now and we are pulling for her. People are praying so hard for her and her family and to guide the doctors that are taking care of her.
Come on Jenny, I know you can do it, lets go, you are so strong. Please pull through this. I know I will be running after you again someday!
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Happy Anniversary to me! and other randomness.
3 years! Yay! I love my husband so much!
Haven't written in while so here is some randomness:
FINALLY good news. We found out last week that the medications for IVF which can cost up to $5000 will be covered by insurance. That is great news and may also give us enough money to try three rounds of IVF if needed.
This rain sucks! I know we need rain but day after day gets old.
Preseason football has started. This excites me beyond belief. Packers defense has looked good the last two games. What makes me more happy is that Michael Vick will most likely spend this season in jail.
Summer is almost over. Kids are going back to school, football season is starting and the trees in front of my condo are turning red already. I love fall but I hate what comes after - winter. Can't we just go Summer, fall, summer, fall??
I have been doing yoga at invivo wellness and I love it. I never thought I would enjoy yoga or have the patience for it but I feel so relaxed and fresh after I'm done. Invivo is the same place I go to for acupuncture, my chiropractor and physical therapist.
Have a good day!
Haven't written in while so here is some randomness:
FINALLY good news. We found out last week that the medications for IVF which can cost up to $5000 will be covered by insurance. That is great news and may also give us enough money to try three rounds of IVF if needed.
This rain sucks! I know we need rain but day after day gets old.
Preseason football has started. This excites me beyond belief. Packers defense has looked good the last two games. What makes me more happy is that Michael Vick will most likely spend this season in jail.
Summer is almost over. Kids are going back to school, football season is starting and the trees in front of my condo are turning red already. I love fall but I hate what comes after - winter. Can't we just go Summer, fall, summer, fall??
I have been doing yoga at invivo wellness and I love it. I never thought I would enjoy yoga or have the patience for it but I feel so relaxed and fresh after I'm done. Invivo is the same place I go to for acupuncture, my chiropractor and physical therapist.
Have a good day!
Monday, August 13, 2007
The Gufs and BoDeans concert
My husband and I actually got out by ourselves this past Friday night to the Wisconsin State Fair to see The Gufs and BoDeans concert. If you are from the Wisconsin area you should know who they are.
The BoDeans formed in Waukesha, WI around 1984 and got their break by playing at Summerfest. They gained National attention when their song "Closer to Free" was selected as the theme song for the TV series Party of Five. My first BoDeans concert was in 1991.
The Gufs, formed by University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee students, started playing on the east side of Milwaukee in 1988. I was introduced to them, music and in person, in 1992. My fellow athletes from the University of Wisconsin Parkside played soccer against some of the band members and head them play on the east side. I became a groupie right away.
15 years later I still adore both groups. My husband also grew up listening to both bands. When we heard about the concert we bought tickets right away. I will say it was weird having to buy tickets when I have seen both bands for free in the past. But we did get great seats, fourth row center.
As we were walking to our seats I said to Jaime, "Why does everyone look so old?" He laughed and said, "because they are, and we are too." The Gufs only played for about 45 minutes because they were the "opening" band but I wanted more! They were great as usual and Goran is still so stinking cute.They played a lot of their new songs and of course ended their show with my favorite song, Smile. Then the BoDeans came on and I freaked out, Sammy has gray hair! But age was not a factor in their performance. Wow, they sounded great. They played all the best songs and my favorite, Naked.
After the concert I got my cheese on a stick which you have to get at the State Fair and we headed home. It was a nice and relaxing night.
The BoDeans formed in Waukesha, WI around 1984 and got their break by playing at Summerfest. They gained National attention when their song "Closer to Free" was selected as the theme song for the TV series Party of Five. My first BoDeans concert was in 1991.
The Gufs, formed by University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee students, started playing on the east side of Milwaukee in 1988. I was introduced to them, music and in person, in 1992. My fellow athletes from the University of Wisconsin Parkside played soccer against some of the band members and head them play on the east side. I became a groupie right away.
15 years later I still adore both groups. My husband also grew up listening to both bands. When we heard about the concert we bought tickets right away. I will say it was weird having to buy tickets when I have seen both bands for free in the past. But we did get great seats, fourth row center.
As we were walking to our seats I said to Jaime, "Why does everyone look so old?" He laughed and said, "because they are, and we are too." The Gufs only played for about 45 minutes because they were the "opening" band but I wanted more! They were great as usual and Goran is still so stinking cute.They played a lot of their new songs and of course ended their show with my favorite song, Smile. Then the BoDeans came on and I freaked out, Sammy has gray hair! But age was not a factor in their performance. Wow, they sounded great. They played all the best songs and my favorite, Naked.
After the concert I got my cheese on a stick which you have to get at the State Fair and we headed home. It was a nice and relaxing night.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
An invitation
I'm just throwing this out there. I have started singing with our Praise Team at our church and I love it. This Sunday I'm really excited, we are singing some of my favorite songs, my bro is singing with the Praise Team too, and there will be a baptism; not just any baptism, our Pastor will be baptizing his newest grandson. If you are interested join us at Brookfield Lutheran (Missouri Synod).
Brookfield Lutheran Church
18500 W. Burleigh
Brookfield, WI 53045
Brookfield Lutheran Church
18500 W. Burleigh
Brookfield, WI 53045
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Update on all that T-TTC stuff
We met with Dr. Sherbahn for our IVF consult on Monday. We started our testing to see if we qualify for the shared risk IVF program. If you qualify, you can pick an IVF "package" and have a guarantee live birth or your money back. I had mentioned earlier that we like this option (who wouldn't) and the success rate at this clinic is higher than any clinic in WI.
The appointment started with an ultra sound for me to check the ovarian antral follicle count. In the first 10 minutes of our appointment we knew we were a bust. I only had 11, they wanted 14. No shared risk for us. Oh, and by the way, looks like I have a cyst and maybe even endometriosis. They said it's probably from the clomid I took during our IUIs. What a blow. Dr. Sherbahn was a nice guy and answered every question we had and never rushed us out the door. We got all our answers, I gave three tubes of blood and they sent us home to think about out next steps. I cried all the way back to Milwaukee.
This morning we got another blow - my blood tests came back invalid. They tested my estrogen and FSH levels. The "day 3 FSH test" is done to test my ovarian reserve. I had these tests before and they were fine, not this time. The nurse called and said they were invalid because my estrogen levels were way too high and that automatically makes the FSH levels invalid. They said it was most likely from the clomid I was on last month and my cyst. I have to repeat the blood test (for another $200) next month.
We can still do IVF through all these problems but it lowers our success rate and our chance of getting a package deal.
How am I doing? Not sure I can cry anymore. Oh, wait, yes, I'm sure I can. I just keep telling myself that we can do IVF and there is still a 50/50 chance of getting pregnant using IVF. My husband is still so amazing, strong, positive and patient. I love him so much.
At this point, it looks like we will first be able to try IVF in October.
The appointment started with an ultra sound for me to check the ovarian antral follicle count. In the first 10 minutes of our appointment we knew we were a bust. I only had 11, they wanted 14. No shared risk for us. Oh, and by the way, looks like I have a cyst and maybe even endometriosis. They said it's probably from the clomid I took during our IUIs. What a blow. Dr. Sherbahn was a nice guy and answered every question we had and never rushed us out the door. We got all our answers, I gave three tubes of blood and they sent us home to think about out next steps. I cried all the way back to Milwaukee.
This morning we got another blow - my blood tests came back invalid. They tested my estrogen and FSH levels. The "day 3 FSH test" is done to test my ovarian reserve. I had these tests before and they were fine, not this time. The nurse called and said they were invalid because my estrogen levels were way too high and that automatically makes the FSH levels invalid. They said it was most likely from the clomid I was on last month and my cyst. I have to repeat the blood test (for another $200) next month.
We can still do IVF through all these problems but it lowers our success rate and our chance of getting a package deal.
How am I doing? Not sure I can cry anymore. Oh, wait, yes, I'm sure I can. I just keep telling myself that we can do IVF and there is still a 50/50 chance of getting pregnant using IVF. My husband is still so amazing, strong, positive and patient. I love him so much.
At this point, it looks like we will first be able to try IVF in October.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Time for me to quit running
I can't believe I just typed that.
First of all, sorry, it's been a week. It was a rough week, I'm not going to lie to you. Obviously we are not pregnant and are moving on to IVF. I have been filled with many different emotions. I'm scared to death of the process. I'm angry that we have to do this in order to have a baby. I'm excited that we are moving onto a new process that has a higher success rate. I'm freaked out by the money we have to come up with. And I have fallen in love with my husband even more because he is my strength and such an amazing man. Take all those feelings and the fact that I have cried for two days, I am emotionally and mentally spent.
After talking with my husband about our plan and feelings I told him that I think it's time for me to stop running. Some doctors and others have their opinions on the impact of running and trying to get pregnant. It's hard for me to accept because I know a lot of people that have gotten pregnant while they were training intensely. But every body is different right?
If we are going to fork over lots of money for this procedure, I want to make sure I am doing everything right. I'm going to start yoga as suggested by my acupuncturist. I will continue to lift weights. For cardio I will hit the pool and stationary bike. I may keep up with racquetball a bit too.
This is going to be a very hard change for me. I have been a "runner" since 5th grade. That puts me at running for about 22 years with some breaks in there of course for injury. I love it, I love to run. Not many people say that about running. It's my stress reliever. I feel so free and strong when I run.
But I think at this time in my life I am going have to give it up for awhile. I need to concentrate on my body and getting it ready to get pregnant, God willing.
First of all, sorry, it's been a week. It was a rough week, I'm not going to lie to you. Obviously we are not pregnant and are moving on to IVF. I have been filled with many different emotions. I'm scared to death of the process. I'm angry that we have to do this in order to have a baby. I'm excited that we are moving onto a new process that has a higher success rate. I'm freaked out by the money we have to come up with. And I have fallen in love with my husband even more because he is my strength and such an amazing man. Take all those feelings and the fact that I have cried for two days, I am emotionally and mentally spent.
After talking with my husband about our plan and feelings I told him that I think it's time for me to stop running. Some doctors and others have their opinions on the impact of running and trying to get pregnant. It's hard for me to accept because I know a lot of people that have gotten pregnant while they were training intensely. But every body is different right?
If we are going to fork over lots of money for this procedure, I want to make sure I am doing everything right. I'm going to start yoga as suggested by my acupuncturist. I will continue to lift weights. For cardio I will hit the pool and stationary bike. I may keep up with racquetball a bit too.
This is going to be a very hard change for me. I have been a "runner" since 5th grade. That puts me at running for about 22 years with some breaks in there of course for injury. I love it, I love to run. Not many people say that about running. It's my stress reliever. I feel so free and strong when I run.
But I think at this time in my life I am going have to give it up for awhile. I need to concentrate on my body and getting it ready to get pregnant, God willing.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
I hate this, but lets talk money.
Here we are again talking about my wonderful infertility issues. Sorry. But I have to vent. We have been fortunate that our insurance has been covering 80% of all our tests and IUIs to this point. But now we have to move onto IVF and our insurance does not cover that. We are looking at two different clinics – Froedtert vs. Advanced Fertility Clinic of IL. We have using Froedtert for our IUI and we like them. They are one of the best hospital in the US. but their success numbers on IVF aren't as high as this clinic in Illinois. When it comes down to money, Froedtert is about $15,000 for one IVF. The Advanced Fertility Clinic has different payment options. One, for example, is you pay for three IVF rounds and there is a guarantee live birth or your money back. Sounds great right? Sure, with a price tag of about $25,000 that we have to pay upfront, if full, before we start.
At this point we are doing a lot of research on both locations, asking many questions, and inquiring input from others who have used both clinics. We have a consult with the Advanced Fertility Clinic (which will set us back $375 paid in full at time of appointment) in a couple weeks and we will meet with Froedtert again to discuss the next steps of IVF. My husband is currently researching the best way to finance IVF. Our plan was to use Capital One's health care finance option with a nice low rate of 1.9% APR but we found out that neither clinic will accept payment from Capital One because of the hidden fees they get hit with from Capital One.
Great.
So yesterday I went into very angry mode. I can get a boat loan from my bank at 6% but if I want a general health care loan I'm looking at 12% APR. I want to scream at insurance companies. I know people who smoke, are obese, don't exercise and just don't take care of themselves yet insurance is paying for all their health issues but I can't get any insurance if I want a baby? (Please, don't tell me to vote for Hillary and her idea of new health care because if that would be the case I wouldn't have the option of what clinic I could even to go.) Sure, we could lower our 401k investments, our IRA's and stop saving money for the hospital bills that we will accumulate when (and if) we have a baby, but that just drives me crazy. We pay a lot of money just to have health insurance and my husband's company pays outrageous money just for us to have insurance but the one time that I need it we don't get it. Or how about a trade off? You get $20,000 for fertility treatments, not limiting us to just IUIs. If that would be the case, we would have skipped IUIs and gone right to IVF. Why is it so limited? WHY CAN'T I GET ANY COVERAGE!
OK, I'm done. I just needed to vent about my frustration with insurance coverage, costs of infertility treatments and the fact that I will be on a mission to make more people aware this problem.
UGH.
At this point we are doing a lot of research on both locations, asking many questions, and inquiring input from others who have used both clinics. We have a consult with the Advanced Fertility Clinic (which will set us back $375 paid in full at time of appointment) in a couple weeks and we will meet with Froedtert again to discuss the next steps of IVF. My husband is currently researching the best way to finance IVF. Our plan was to use Capital One's health care finance option with a nice low rate of 1.9% APR but we found out that neither clinic will accept payment from Capital One because of the hidden fees they get hit with from Capital One.
Great.
So yesterday I went into very angry mode. I can get a boat loan from my bank at 6% but if I want a general health care loan I'm looking at 12% APR. I want to scream at insurance companies. I know people who smoke, are obese, don't exercise and just don't take care of themselves yet insurance is paying for all their health issues but I can't get any insurance if I want a baby? (Please, don't tell me to vote for Hillary and her idea of new health care because if that would be the case I wouldn't have the option of what clinic I could even to go.) Sure, we could lower our 401k investments, our IRA's and stop saving money for the hospital bills that we will accumulate when (and if) we have a baby, but that just drives me crazy. We pay a lot of money just to have health insurance and my husband's company pays outrageous money just for us to have insurance but the one time that I need it we don't get it. Or how about a trade off? You get $20,000 for fertility treatments, not limiting us to just IUIs. If that would be the case, we would have skipped IUIs and gone right to IVF. Why is it so limited? WHY CAN'T I GET ANY COVERAGE!
OK, I'm done. I just needed to vent about my frustration with insurance coverage, costs of infertility treatments and the fact that I will be on a mission to make more people aware this problem.
UGH.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
My food world ups and downs
My food world
Yesterday was a sad day and a great day in my food network world.
Sad:
Milwaukee lost it's beloved favorite restaurant critic, Dennis Getto at the young age of 57. Known as the faceless critic for 25 years, Getto not only reviewed restaurants but also provided his readers with insight to cooking, entertaining and where to dine. He was always quick to return phone calls and emails to his readers. Getto passed died from pulmonary fibrosis.
Great:
Paula Deen is coming to Chicago on Saturday, November 17 and guess who has tickets?! I am so freaking excited. I will be heading to Chicago with three of my girlfriends to see Paula's Live Tour. Known for her famous quote of "everything's better with a stick of butter" Paula has become an icon of cooking on the Food Network. I am so excited (did I say that yet) that I am going to hear her say "hey y'all" in person. I may cry.
Yesterday was a sad day and a great day in my food network world.
Sad:
Milwaukee lost it's beloved favorite restaurant critic, Dennis Getto at the young age of 57. Known as the faceless critic for 25 years, Getto not only reviewed restaurants but also provided his readers with insight to cooking, entertaining and where to dine. He was always quick to return phone calls and emails to his readers. Getto passed died from pulmonary fibrosis.
Great:
Paula Deen is coming to Chicago on Saturday, November 17 and guess who has tickets?! I am so freaking excited. I will be heading to Chicago with three of my girlfriends to see Paula's Live Tour. Known for her famous quote of "everything's better with a stick of butter" Paula has become an icon of cooking on the Food Network. I am so excited (did I say that yet) that I am going to hear her say "hey y'all" in person. I may cry.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Another great infertility article - Infertility Etiquette
Sorry that I am posting so much on this topic. I guess since we had our third IUI yesterday this is on my mind.
Here is a good article for family and friends who may know a loved one struggling with infertility.
Infertility Etiquette
Here is a good article for family and friends who may know a loved one struggling with infertility.
Infertility Etiquette
Think twice before you ask a woman when they plan on having children
This is a great article that was on MSNBC - Newsweek:
My Turn: Stop Setting Alarms on My Biological Clock
Can you believe a woman actually said, "Well, you don't know happiness until you've had a baby."
Excuse me?
Since when does children = happiness? So if my husband and I can't have children we will never experience happiness? The day I married my husband I wasn't really happy? I'm really not happy during the times I spend with my family and friends?
This is just one part of the article that got my blood boiling.
It's a short quick read, take a look!
My Turn: Stop Setting Alarms on My Biological Clock
Can you believe a woman actually said, "Well, you don't know happiness until you've had a baby."
Excuse me?
Since when does children = happiness? So if my husband and I can't have children we will never experience happiness? The day I married my husband I wasn't really happy? I'm really not happy during the times I spend with my family and friends?
This is just one part of the article that got my blood boiling.
It's a short quick read, take a look!
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Smug mug account
My husband and I decided to purchase a smug mug account to host our photographs. We really liked the viewing quality and other features of the site. Go check it out!
http://jaimeandtracey.smugmug.com/
http://jaimeandtracey.smugmug.com/
Monday, July 16, 2007
Acupuncture take two
It's been a week since I have done an update. I felt pretty relaxed last week. There were a couple times when I started feeling anxiety and stress but I was able to concentrate on my breathing and feel calm and relaxed again.
We had a nice and busy weekend. Right after work on Friday we took off to the Wisconsin Dells for the "Waupaca" Boatride Volleyball Tournament. We stayed at the Chula Vista Resort and met up with a bunch of our friends. If you like volleyball I highly suggest this tournament - teams of three, grass, 472 teams ....Open, AA, A, BB and B. My husband and two of our other friends played in A's. It was fun to watch all the games, enjoy the sun and free beer! I even squeezed in a facial.
Sunday was busy - church, lunch with girlfriends and my nephew Ethan's 4 year old birthday party.
Today was my second acupuncture appointment. She concentrated on my stomach/uterus/female reproduction points and my knees. The needles were left in longer but I was very relaxed. She even rubbed a lavender/tangerine oil on my head. I started to concentrate on my breathing and thoughts of nothing and little by little my most stressed parts of my body started to go limp. After she took the needles out she rubbed out some tight spots on my legs and wrists and sent me on my way. Now I'm at home, on my couch with a glass of wine just relaxing away. I really like this acupuncture stuff. Tomorrow I get my ultra sound to see how the clomid worked and hopefully IUI #3 on Wednesday.
We had a nice and busy weekend. Right after work on Friday we took off to the Wisconsin Dells for the "Waupaca" Boatride Volleyball Tournament. We stayed at the Chula Vista Resort and met up with a bunch of our friends. If you like volleyball I highly suggest this tournament - teams of three, grass, 472 teams ....Open, AA, A, BB and B. My husband and two of our other friends played in A's. It was fun to watch all the games, enjoy the sun and free beer! I even squeezed in a facial.
Sunday was busy - church, lunch with girlfriends and my nephew Ethan's 4 year old birthday party.
Today was my second acupuncture appointment. She concentrated on my stomach/uterus/female reproduction points and my knees. The needles were left in longer but I was very relaxed. She even rubbed a lavender/tangerine oil on my head. I started to concentrate on my breathing and thoughts of nothing and little by little my most stressed parts of my body started to go limp. After she took the needles out she rubbed out some tight spots on my legs and wrists and sent me on my way. Now I'm at home, on my couch with a glass of wine just relaxing away. I really like this acupuncture stuff. Tomorrow I get my ultra sound to see how the clomid worked and hopefully IUI #3 on Wednesday.
Monday, July 09, 2007
Acupuncture take one
I did it. Tonight I overcame one of my biggest fears of having many little needles sticking out of my body, or acupuncture. My husband was the first one to suggest acupuncture to me. His friends had problems getting pregnant and she tried acupuncture and she got pregnant within one month. I hate needles, hate them. It's not the pain, it's the feeling of having something in my body that does not belong. It's hard to describe. So needless to say I have been very hesitant. I have a physical therapist and chiropractor that I love at Invivo Wellness and they recently added acupuncture. I asked both of them about their opinion on it and of course they said, "do it." I met with Jennifer last Friday and we talked about our road to having a baby, my stress levels, other health issues etc. I liked her and felt very calm after leaving her, so I scheduled my first appointment for today.
I get there today a little nervous and Jennifer is just a very relaxing person. Tiny, skinny, quiet and her voice is just calming. She talked to me for about 30-45 minute on my health history, diet, exercise, fertility etc. She then gets me on the table and says, "OK here comes the needles." I just closed my eyes and took deep breathes. She put one in my head, my arms, hands, stomach, knees and ankles. At first I hated it. I was tensing up and I started feeling like I do when I give the blood. I thought to myself there is no way I'm ever doing this again. It's not like I could feel the needles at all but I knew they were there, make sense?
I started feeling sick and wanted them out. But I just took deep deep breathes and then I then I couldn't feel them. She reminds me to relax and she left the room. I tried so hard to think positive and relaxed and I even said a prayer. Next thing I knew my whole body went limp, it was heavy like. It was weird. I felt things moving in my body, like blood flow or something, my body was waking up but relaxed. It is so hard to describe.
She came back in and we talked about how I felt and she pulled out the needles. She lightly messaged my legs and arms talking to me about what muscles are connected to what organs and why she put the needles where she did. Everything she was saying made sense. I believe that everything is connected but at the same time it was weird, the whole Chinese Medicine theory. My heart started beating heavily, not fast just heavy and then i felt like I was on vicodin or something. It was awesome. I was in a whole other world. We talked about food/diet and I was waiting for her to tell me she was vegan or tell me that I need to detox my body and just do herbs but she said....just eat food, real food. Food is good. Stay away from the frozen dinners, fake sugars, no-fat stuff etc. Also she told me the number one thing to stay away from that is "media food" is soy. She said especially if you are trying to get pregnant. She gave me bunch of articles on it.
I got up and was so relaxed but not like I have ever felt. Different than a message. I still feel really good right now.
I go back next Monday.
I get there today a little nervous and Jennifer is just a very relaxing person. Tiny, skinny, quiet and her voice is just calming. She talked to me for about 30-45 minute on my health history, diet, exercise, fertility etc. She then gets me on the table and says, "OK here comes the needles." I just closed my eyes and took deep breathes. She put one in my head, my arms, hands, stomach, knees and ankles. At first I hated it. I was tensing up and I started feeling like I do when I give the blood. I thought to myself there is no way I'm ever doing this again. It's not like I could feel the needles at all but I knew they were there, make sense?
I started feeling sick and wanted them out. But I just took deep deep breathes and then I then I couldn't feel them. She reminds me to relax and she left the room. I tried so hard to think positive and relaxed and I even said a prayer. Next thing I knew my whole body went limp, it was heavy like. It was weird. I felt things moving in my body, like blood flow or something, my body was waking up but relaxed. It is so hard to describe.
She came back in and we talked about how I felt and she pulled out the needles. She lightly messaged my legs and arms talking to me about what muscles are connected to what organs and why she put the needles where she did. Everything she was saying made sense. I believe that everything is connected but at the same time it was weird, the whole Chinese Medicine theory. My heart started beating heavily, not fast just heavy and then i felt like I was on vicodin or something. It was awesome. I was in a whole other world. We talked about food/diet and I was waiting for her to tell me she was vegan or tell me that I need to detox my body and just do herbs but she said....just eat food, real food. Food is good. Stay away from the frozen dinners, fake sugars, no-fat stuff etc. Also she told me the number one thing to stay away from that is "media food" is soy. She said especially if you are trying to get pregnant. She gave me bunch of articles on it.
I got up and was so relaxed but not like I have ever felt. Different than a message. I still feel really good right now.
I go back next Monday.
Friday, July 06, 2007
3rd/4th of July
This is my favorite holiday. I love the summer weather, parades, cookouts and most of all the fireworks. I include the 3rd of July as part of the holiday because here in Milwaukee, WI we are given the opportunity to start the celebration of our country a day early with the spectacular US Bank Fireworks. Heading down to Milwaukee's beautiful lakefront for this grand display has been a family tradition for years. It started with my mom, dad and sister and has expanded to as many as 40 plus people. The past couple years it has been my responsibility to get the spot. You can show up at the last hour and hope to get 
some grass but thats not how I do it. I stated a couple years ago by going down around Noon, then 10 am, last year we marked off our spot the night before and came down at 8 am to add our chairs, tables etc. We noticed people were camping so this year my husband and I decided to camp in Veterans Park. Yes, thats right, camp in a park located in downtown Milwaukee. What's even funnier is that we live a half mile away from the park. We got down to the park about 4:30 pm on the 2nd. Set up our tent, marked off the spot and lit the grill. We had a great time and walked around and I got some great pictures of the fireworks all ready to go. We couldn't believe how many people made camping in the park a tradition. We got prime spots, right behind the fence that blocks off the spectators and the fireworks.The next morning we ate breakfast, I ran home to feed the cat and grabbed some more food and water. We set up our volleyball nets and played volleyball with some friends that came down to join us. We watched the park fill up and also watched about three storms blow over the lake. Whew.
We packed up volleyball and more family and friends joined us. But at about 8:30 p.m. the sky turned black and it got very still...... then there was this ball of pink lightening that filled the sky, um, where those the fireworks? Nope, but like I said, God decided to start his show early. We were smart enough to keep our tent there so we started grabbing everyones bags, blankets and other items that needed to stay dry and threw them in the tent. We got out tarps and umbrellas and hoped for the best. We were not leaving. Everyone figured it would storm for about 30 minutes and it would take everyone that long just to get to their cars. It rained, the wind blew, it thundered and we had more pink lightening. About 45 minutes later it slowed down and the fireworks started. And it was worth it. We still had some rain and beautiful lightening but the fireworks were amazing and the show was about an hour long.
We all laughed at how soaked we were and how scared we were of the crazy lightening but we also said that the fireworks of 2007 will always be remembered because of it all. Unfortunately because of the rain I was unable to get pictures of the fireworks but I do have some before shots.
Sunday, July 01, 2007
I'm scared
If you have been following my story at all, we are on a two month break from using science in our hopes to having a baby. It's been a nice two months off. I haven't missed filling my body with hormones, getting ultra-sounds, giving blood etc. But now we have to get ready for another fill of reality......what's next? We will try one more IUI but it that doesn't work (we aren't optimistic) then we need to make a decision.....Are we ready to try IVF? Which doctor do we want to use? How are we going to pay for it? How are we going to get through it?
I'm trying so hard to put my faith in God to guide us through these decisions. I also I'm praying for strength because I'm finding myself in tears more often than I'd like.
I'll talk about this more (lucky you!) but I just need to get that down on "paper"..... I'm scared.
I'm trying so hard to put my faith in God to guide us through these decisions. I also I'm praying for strength because I'm finding myself in tears more often than I'd like.
I'll talk about this more (lucky you!) but I just need to get that down on "paper"..... I'm scared.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Lets talk about Maine
I could write tons, but I will try to keep it brief.
Why did you go to Maine, you ask? One of the sucky things from this past year is my dad's company got bought out by a larger one and he got laid off, after they made him fire all his tech associates. Nice hey? After many months of searching and interviews he was offered a job….in Maine. Many prayers and discussions later he decided it would be best for the family if he took it. His job allows him to work from home so he is able to come back to WI about once a month for a long weekend and my mom tries to get out there for a couple weeks at a time. He was fortunate enough to find a great apartment on the ocean in Old Orchard Beach, ME. I finally got some time off of work and decided to head out there when my mom was going to be there too. I left early on a Friday morning and landed in Boston at 10:30 a.m. Our first stop was Cambridge and visit Harvard University. Wow, what a gorgeous college. I felt really smart just standing in the middle of campus by the library. I bought a Harvard Track and Field t-shirt on campus just to pretend that I ran for the team. What I love about that side of the country is that it is so old, that is where the history of the United States began. After some gulf shrimp and Sam Adams beer we head north to my dads place. He lives in this cute little ocean side holiday town and I like to describe it. About a mile walk on the beach is The Pier where many shops and restaurants are located. Adjacent to The Pier is an amusement park. I felt like I was in a movie from the 80's, like Karate Kid. The next day we were going to Gloucester to whale watch. Gloucester is the setting of the movie Perfect Storm so that night my parents made me watch the movie. Have you seen the movie? If not, go rent it. I was afraid to watch it because I knew it was a sad movie and I knew the ending since it was a true story. I am so glad they made me watch it. The next day we headed south into Massachusetts and visited the two cities Rockport and Gloucester. The day was foggy and misty, perfect setting for a fisherman's town. We walked the streets of Rockport and this is where I got some of my best pictures. After filling up on coffee and clam chowder (chowdah as they say it) we headed to Gloucester. I had chills all over when we drove by the Crows Nest Inn (setting of Perfect Storm). Gloucester is the oldest fishing port dating to 1623. My dad booked us to go Whale Watching and I was so excited to test out my new camera. Still foggy and misty, we weren't sure what we were going to see out in the ocean. What I liked about the whale watching company we went with, "Captain Bill's & Sons Whale Watching", was that they had a field biologist and Director of the Whale Center of New England on board. He has been studying the Humpbacks in that particular region for 20+ years. It took about an hour to get to the spot where they know the whales come to eat. As we approached the spot we saw a whale slapping his tail in the water alerting other whales that he was coming into their territory. I was so excited because I knew we were going to see at least one whale. Not only did we see one whale but we saw two sets of three whales including one calf, three sets of two whales, including another calf and some random singles. At the end of the two hours a calf decided to play with our boat, he was swimming all around, splashing, blowing air, going under our boat and back up again. It was so amazing and beautiful. Finally the mom and her friend had to come back and get the calf, the calf didn't want to go so mommy had to jump on her. It was so surreal.
I will post more about my trip later........
Why did you go to Maine, you ask? One of the sucky things from this past year is my dad's company got bought out by a larger one and he got laid off, after they made him fire all his tech associates. Nice hey? After many months of searching and interviews he was offered a job….in Maine. Many prayers and discussions later he decided it would be best for the family if he took it. His job allows him to work from home so he is able to come back to WI about once a month for a long weekend and my mom tries to get out there for a couple weeks at a time. He was fortunate enough to find a great apartment on the ocean in Old Orchard Beach, ME. I finally got some time off of work and decided to head out there when my mom was going to be there too. I left early on a Friday morning and landed in Boston at 10:30 a.m. Our first stop was Cambridge and visit Harvard University. Wow, what a gorgeous college. I felt really smart just standing in the middle of campus by the library. I bought a Harvard Track and Field t-shirt on campus just to pretend that I ran for the team. What I love about that side of the country is that it is so old, that is where the history of the United States began. After some gulf shrimp and Sam Adams beer we head north to my dads place. He lives in this cute little ocean side holiday town and I like to describe it. About a mile walk on the beach is The Pier where many shops and restaurants are located. Adjacent to The Pier is an amusement park. I felt like I was in a movie from the 80's, like Karate Kid. The next day we were going to Gloucester to whale watch. Gloucester is the setting of the movie Perfect Storm so that night my parents made me watch the movie. Have you seen the movie? If not, go rent it. I was afraid to watch it because I knew it was a sad movie and I knew the ending since it was a true story. I am so glad they made me watch it. The next day we headed south into Massachusetts and visited the two cities Rockport and Gloucester. The day was foggy and misty, perfect setting for a fisherman's town. We walked the streets of Rockport and this is where I got some of my best pictures. After filling up on coffee and clam chowder (chowdah as they say it) we headed to Gloucester. I had chills all over when we drove by the Crows Nest Inn (setting of Perfect Storm). Gloucester is the oldest fishing port dating to 1623. My dad booked us to go Whale Watching and I was so excited to test out my new camera. Still foggy and misty, we weren't sure what we were going to see out in the ocean. What I liked about the whale watching company we went with, "Captain Bill's & Sons Whale Watching", was that they had a field biologist and Director of the Whale Center of New England on board. He has been studying the Humpbacks in that particular region for 20+ years. It took about an hour to get to the spot where they know the whales come to eat. As we approached the spot we saw a whale slapping his tail in the water alerting other whales that he was coming into their territory. I was so excited because I knew we were going to see at least one whale. Not only did we see one whale but we saw two sets of three whales including one calf, three sets of two whales, including another calf and some random singles. At the end of the two hours a calf decided to play with our boat, he was swimming all around, splashing, blowing air, going under our boat and back up again. It was so amazing and beautiful. Finally the mom and her friend had to come back and get the calf, the calf didn't want to go so mommy had to jump on her. It was so surreal.
I will post more about my trip later........
Monday, June 25, 2007
Favorite picture
I was looking through my Maine pictures again and I think I have a favorite. And it's not even a whale picture. Ok, I cannot lie, it's not really just the only favorite but this is one I may blow up and frame. Let me know what you think.
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