Thursday, August 02, 2007

Time for me to quit running

I can't believe I just typed that.

First of all, sorry, it's been a week. It was a rough week, I'm not going to lie to you. Obviously we are not pregnant and are moving on to IVF. I have been filled with many different emotions. I'm scared to death of the process. I'm angry that we have to do this in order to have a baby. I'm excited that we are moving onto a new process that has a higher success rate. I'm freaked out by the money we have to come up with. And I have fallen in love with my husband even more because he is my strength and such an amazing man. Take all those feelings and the fact that I have cried for two days, I am emotionally and mentally spent.

After talking with my husband about our plan and feelings I told him that I think it's time for me to stop running. Some doctors and others have their opinions on the impact of running and trying to get pregnant. It's hard for me to accept because I know a lot of people that have gotten pregnant while they were training intensely. But every body is different right?

If we are going to fork over lots of money for this procedure, I want to make sure I am doing everything right. I'm going to start yoga as suggested by my acupuncturist. I will continue to lift weights. For cardio I will hit the pool and stationary bike. I may keep up with racquetball a bit too.

This is going to be a very hard change for me. I have been a "runner" since 5th grade. That puts me at running for about 22 years with some breaks in there of course for injury. I love it, I love to run. Not many people say that about running. It's my stress reliever. I feel so free and strong when I run.

But I think at this time in my life I am going have to give it up for awhile. I need to concentrate on my body and getting it ready to get pregnant, God willing.

5 comments:

Elizabeth said...

Oh Tracey, that breaks my heart to read. You know you better than anyone, obviously, but it makes me so sad that you feel as though you have to give up running to make this thing work. Good for you for having the courage to try to determine exactly what you need to do to get what you most want in life. I just hope that whatever other forms of stress-relief you choose to discover are as healing as running was for you. I'm sending lots of prayers your way.

Rachel said...

wow, that's a really big decision. I applaud you for making the sacrafices necessary to to continue TTC. I wish for your sake it didn't have to be something you loved so much :-( And I pray that you'll be big and pg soon and running will be the last thing on your mind! (until that babies born of course!)

ptg said...

My prayers continue to go out to you; I hope you find something that centers you the way running does - I hope to hear about your upcoming child soon!!

Anonymous Knottie said...

I'm so used to thinking of you as "Runsy". I'm going to have to start refering to you as "girl who stopped being runsy for the sake of her future child". It's a little more of a mouthful, but I think it sounds hopeful ;-)

Angela said...

I wish you all the best. I really hope this works out for you.