I hate this, but lets talk money.

Here we are again talking about my wonderful infertility issues. Sorry. But I have to vent. We have been fortunate that our insurance has been covering 80% of all our tests and IUIs to this point. But now we have to move onto IVF and our insurance does not cover that. We are looking at two different clinics – Froedtert vs. Advanced Fertility Clinic of IL. We have using Froedtert for our IUI and we like them. They are one of the best hospital in the US. but their success numbers on IVF aren't as high as this clinic in Illinois. When it comes down to money, Froedtert is about $15,000 for one IVF. The Advanced Fertility Clinic has different payment options. One, for example, is you pay for three IVF rounds and there is a guarantee live birth or your money back. Sounds great right? Sure, with a price tag of about $25,000 that we have to pay upfront, if full, before we start.
At this point we are doing a lot of research on both locations, asking many questions, and inquiring input from others who have used both clinics. We have a consult with the Advanced Fertility Clinic (which will set us back $375 paid in full at time of appointment) in a couple weeks and we will meet with Froedtert again to discuss the next steps of IVF. My husband is currently researching the best way to finance IVF. Our plan was to use Capital One's health care finance option with a nice low rate of 1.9% APR but we found out that neither clinic will accept payment from Capital One because of the hidden fees they get hit with from Capital One.
Great.
So yesterday I went into very angry mode. I can get a boat loan from my bank at 6% but if I want a general health care loan I'm looking at 12% APR. I want to scream at insurance companies. I know people who smoke, are obese, don't exercise and just don't take care of themselves yet insurance is paying for all their health issues but I can't get any insurance if I want a baby? (Please, don't tell me to vote for Hillary and her idea of new health care because if that would be the case I wouldn't have the option of what clinic I could even to go.) Sure, we could lower our 401k investments, our IRA's and stop saving money for the hospital bills that we will accumulate when (and if) we have a baby, but that just drives me crazy. We pay a lot of money just to have health insurance and my husband's company pays outrageous money just for us to have insurance but the one time that I need it we don't get it. Or how about a trade off? You get $20,000 for fertility treatments, not limiting us to just IUIs. If that would be the case, we would have skipped IUIs and gone right to IVF. Why is it so limited? WHY CAN'T I GET ANY COVERAGE!
OK, I'm done. I just needed to vent about my frustration with insurance coverage, costs of infertility treatments and the fact that I will be on a mission to make more people aware this problem.
UGH.

My food world ups and downs

My food world
Yesterday was a sad day and a great day in my food network world.
Sad:
Milwaukee lost it's beloved favorite restaurant critic, Dennis Getto at the young age of 57. Known as the faceless critic for 25 years, Getto not only reviewed restaurants but also provided his readers with insight to cooking, entertaining and where to dine. He was always quick to return phone calls and emails to his readers. Getto passed died from pulmonary fibrosis.

Great:
Paula Deen is coming to Chicago on Saturday, November 17 and guess who has tickets?! I am so freaking excited. I will be heading to Chicago with three of my girlfriends to see Paula's Live Tour. Known for her famous quote of "everything's better with a stick of butter" Paula has become an icon of cooking on the Food Network. I am so excited (did I say that yet) that I am going to hear her say "hey y'all" in person. I may cry.

Another great infertility article - Infertility Etiquette

Sorry that I am posting so much on this topic. I guess since we had our third IUI yesterday this is on my mind.

Here is a good article for family and friends who may know a loved one struggling with infertility.

Infertility Etiquette

Think twice before you ask a woman when they plan on having children

This is a great article that was on MSNBC - Newsweek:
My Turn: Stop Setting Alarms on My Biological Clock

Can you believe a woman actually said, "Well, you don't know happiness until you've had a baby."

Excuse me?

Since when does children = happiness? So if my husband and I can't have children we will never experience happiness? The day I married my husband I wasn't really happy? I'm really not happy during the times I spend with my family and friends?

This is just one part of the article that got my blood boiling.

It's a short quick read, take a look!

Smug mug account

My husband and I decided to purchase a smug mug account to host our photographs. We really liked the viewing quality and other features of the site. Go check it out!
http://jaimeandtracey.smugmug.com/

Acupuncture take two

It's been a week since I have done an update. I felt pretty relaxed last week. There were a couple times when I started feeling anxiety and stress but I was able to concentrate on my breathing and feel calm and relaxed again.

We had a nice and busy weekend. Right after work on Friday we took off to the Wisconsin Dells for the "Waupaca" Boatride Volleyball Tournament. We stayed at the Chula Vista Resort and met up with a bunch of our friends. If you like volleyball I highly suggest this tournament - teams of three, grass, 472 teams ....Open, AA, A, BB and B. My husband and two of our other friends played in A's. It was fun to watch all the games, enjoy the sun and free beer! I even squeezed in a facial.

Sunday was busy - church, lunch with girlfriends and my nephew Ethan's 4 year old birthday party.

Today was my second acupuncture appointment. She concentrated on my stomach/uterus/female reproduction points and my knees. The needles were left in longer but I was very relaxed. She even rubbed a lavender/tangerine oil on my head. I started to concentrate on my breathing and thoughts of nothing and little by little my most stressed parts of my body started to go limp. After she took the needles out she rubbed out some tight spots on my legs and wrists and sent me on my way. Now I'm at home, on my couch with a glass of wine just relaxing away. I really like this acupuncture stuff. Tomorrow I get my ultra sound to see how the clomid worked and hopefully IUI #3 on Wednesday.

Acupuncture take one

I did it. Tonight I overcame one of my biggest fears of having many little needles sticking out of my body, or acupuncture. My husband was the first one to suggest acupuncture to me. His friends had problems getting pregnant and she tried acupuncture and she got pregnant within one month. I hate needles, hate them. It's not the pain, it's the feeling of having something in my body that does not belong. It's hard to describe. So needless to say I have been very hesitant. I have a physical therapist and chiropractor that I love at Invivo Wellness and they recently added acupuncture. I asked both of them about their opinion on it and of course they said, "do it." I met with Jennifer last Friday and we talked about our road to having a baby, my stress levels, other health issues etc. I liked her and felt very calm after leaving her, so I scheduled my first appointment for today.
I get there today a little nervous and Jennifer is just a very relaxing person. Tiny, skinny, quiet and her voice is just calming. She talked to me for about 30-45 minute on my health history, diet, exercise, fertility etc. She then gets me on the table and says, "OK here comes the needles." I just closed my eyes and took deep breathes. She put one in my head, my arms, hands, stomach, knees and ankles. At first I hated it. I was tensing up and I started feeling like I do when I give the blood. I thought to myself there is no way I'm ever doing this again. It's not like I could feel the needles at all but I knew they were there, make sense?
I started feeling sick and wanted them out. But I just took deep deep breathes and then I then I couldn't feel them. She reminds me to relax and she left the room. I tried so hard to think positive and relaxed and I even said a prayer. Next thing I knew my whole body went limp, it was heavy like. It was weird. I felt things moving in my body, like blood flow or something, my body was waking up but relaxed. It is so hard to describe.
She came back in and we talked about how I felt and she pulled out the needles. She lightly messaged my legs and arms talking to me about what muscles are connected to what organs and why she put the needles where she did. Everything she was saying made sense. I believe that everything is connected but at the same time it was weird, the whole Chinese Medicine theory. My heart started beating heavily, not fast just heavy and then i felt like I was on vicodin or something. It was awesome. I was in a whole other world. We talked about food/diet and I was waiting for her to tell me she was vegan or tell me that I need to detox my body and just do herbs but she said....just eat food, real food. Food is good. Stay away from the frozen dinners, fake sugars, no-fat stuff etc. Also she told me the number one thing to stay away from that is "media food" is soy. She said especially if you are trying to get pregnant. She gave me bunch of articles on it.
I got up and was so relaxed but not like I have ever felt. Different than a message. I still feel really good right now.
I go back next Monday.

3rd/4th of July

This is my favorite holiday. I love the summer weather, parades, cookouts and most of all the fireworks. I include the 3rd of July as part of the holiday because here in Milwaukee, WI we are given the opportunity to start the celebration of our country a day early with the spectacular US Bank Fireworks. Heading down to Milwaukee's beautiful lakefront for this grand display has been a family tradition for years. It started with my mom, dad and sister and has expanded to as many as 40 plus people. The past couple years it has been my responsibility to get the spot. You can show up at the last hour and hope to get some grass but thats not how I do it. I stated a couple years ago by going down around Noon, then 10 am, last year we marked off our spot the night before and came down at 8 am to add our chairs, tables etc. We noticed people were camping so this year my husband and I decided to camp in Veterans Park. Yes, thats right, camp in a park located in downtown Milwaukee. What's even funnier is that we live a half mile away from the park. We got down to the park about 4:30 pm on the 2nd. Set up our tent, marked off the spot and lit the grill. We had a great time and walked around and I got some great pictures of the fireworks all ready to go. We couldn't believe how many people made camping in the park a tradition. We got prime spots, right behind the fence that blocks off the spectators and the fireworks.
The next morning we ate breakfast, I ran home to feed the cat and grabbed some more food and water. We set up our volleyball nets and played volleyball with some friends that came down to join us. We watched the park fill up and also watched about three storms blow over the lake. Whew.
We packed up volleyball and more family and friends joined us. But at about 8:30 p.m. the sky turned black and it got very still...... then there was this ball of pink lightening that filled the sky, um, where those the fireworks? Nope, but like I said, God decided to start his show early. We were smart enough to keep our tent there so we started grabbing everyones bags, blankets and other items that needed to stay dry and threw them in the tent. We got out tarps and umbrellas and hoped for the best. We were not leaving. Everyone figured it would storm for about 30 minutes and it would take everyone that long just to get to their cars. It rained, the wind blew, it thundered and we had more pink lightening. About 45 minutes later it slowed down and the fireworks started. And it was worth it. We still had some rain and beautiful lightening but the fireworks were amazing and the show was about an hour long.
We all laughed at how soaked we were and how scared we were of the crazy lightening but we also said that the fireworks of 2007 will always be remembered because of it all. Unfortunately because of the rain I was unable to get pictures of the fireworks but I do have some before shots.

I'm scared

If you have been following my story at all, we are on a two month break from using science in our hopes to having a baby. It's been a nice two months off. I haven't missed filling my body with hormones, getting ultra-sounds, giving blood etc. But now we have to get ready for another fill of reality......what's next? We will try one more IUI but it that doesn't work (we aren't optimistic) then we need to make a decision.....Are we ready to try IVF? Which doctor do we want to use? How are we going to pay for it? How are we going to get through it?
I'm trying so hard to put my faith in God to guide us through these decisions. I also I'm praying for strength because I'm finding myself in tears more often than I'd like.
I'll talk about this more (lucky you!) but I just need to get that down on "paper"..... I'm scared.

More cool pictures from Maine

Lobster traps all over
Having fun with my new Nikon D80
The first sight of whales

Lets talk about Maine

I could write tons, but I will try to keep it brief.
Why did you go to Maine, you ask? One of the sucky things from this past year is my dad's company got bought out by a larger one and he got laid off, after they made him fire all his tech associates. Nice hey? After many months of searching and interviews he was offered a job….in Maine. Many prayers and discussions later he decided it would be best for the family if he took it. His job allows him to work from home so he is able to come back to WI about once a month for a long weekend and my mom tries to get out there for a couple weeks at a time. He was fortunate enough to find a great apartment on the ocean in Old Orchard Beach, ME. I finally got some time off of work and decided to head out there when my mom was going to be there too. I left early on a Friday morning and landed in Boston at 10:30 a.m. Our first stop was Cambridge and visit Harvard University. Wow, what a gorgeous college. I felt really smart just standing in the middle of campus by the library. I bought a Harvard Track and Field t-shirt on campus just to pretend that I ran for the team. What I love about that side of the country is that it is so old, that is where the history of the United States began. After some gulf shrimp and Sam Adams beer we head north to my dads place. He lives in this cute little ocean side holiday town and I like to describe it. About a mile walk on the beach is The Pier where many shops and restaurants are located. Adjacent to The Pier is an amusement park. I felt like I was in a movie from the 80's, like Karate Kid. The next day we were going to Gloucester to whale watch. Gloucester is the setting of the movie Perfect Storm so that night my parents made me watch the movie. Have you seen the movie? If not, go rent it. I was afraid to watch it because I knew it was a sad movie and I knew the ending since it was a true story. I am so glad they made me watch it. The next day we headed south into Massachusetts and visited the two cities Rockport and Gloucester. The day was foggy and misty, perfect setting for a fisherman's town. We walked the streets of Rockport and this is where I got some of my best pictures. After filling up on coffee and clam chowder (chowdah as they say it) we headed to Gloucester. I had chills all over when we drove by the Crows Nest Inn (setting of Perfect Storm). Gloucester is the oldest fishing port dating to 1623. My dad booked us to go Whale Watching and I was so excited to test out my new camera. Still foggy and misty, we weren't sure what we were going to see out in the ocean. What I liked about the whale watching company we went with, "Captain Bill's & Sons Whale Watching", was that they had a field biologist and Director of the Whale Center of New England on board. He has been studying the Humpbacks in that particular region for 20+ years. It took about an hour to get to the spot where they know the whales come to eat. As we approached the spot we saw a whale slapping his tail in the water alerting other whales that he was coming into their territory. I was so excited because I knew we were going to see at least one whale. Not only did we see one whale but we saw two sets of three whales including one calf, three sets of two whales, including another calf and some random singles. At the end of the two hours a calf decided to play with our boat, he was swimming all around, splashing, blowing air, going under our boat and back up again. It was so amazing and beautiful. Finally the mom and her friend had to come back and get the calf, the calf didn't want to go so mommy had to jump on her. It was so surreal.
I will post more about my trip later........

My favorite nephews

Aidan

Ethan

Oh wait, what about this one?

Favorite picture

I was looking through my Maine pictures again and I think I have a favorite. And it's not even a whale picture. Ok, I cannot lie, it's not really just the only favorite but this is one I may blow up and frame. Let me know what you think.

VENT

If I hear one more person say, "I'm pregnant" and then follow it with, "and we weren't even trying." I WILL puke on them.

That is all, have a nice day.

Random thoughts

For some reason I cried a lot yesterday on Father's Day. We are going on our second month of a break. It has been a nice break, I think I'm just scared of what the future is going to bring. More tests, needles, decisions, etc.

I love this weather, and it doesn't last long enough here in WI. June - September are wonderful months. After that we get snow and cold and more snow...... it sucks. Literally 4 months of good weather. I feel this crazy pressure to do things - camping, the Island, volleyball tournaments, cookouts, beach time, etc. 4 months to get all that in before it snows. Ugh.

My running is sucking right now. I feel so tired and heavy and slow on my runs. I have no desire to train right now.

I love my husband more than anything in the world. He is so cute. My poor cat is hot right now and he tried to cool her off this afternoon. He took ice packs and put them in a insulated bag and put a pan on top of it with my cat's favorite mouse hoping she would lay on the pan to keep cool. He is silly but cute.

Friends is my favorite TV show of all time, I'm on my 3rd episode of the night.

Yes yes yes, I will do a write up on Maine.

Thanks all, happy days.

I got a new camera and just got back from a mini vacation

Super quick update, I'll write more when I have a chance. My husband and I broke down and got the new Nikon D80 camera. We have been researching this particular camera for almost a year. My plan is to take some photography classes so I can master the camera. It arrived in the mail last Wednesday just in time for my mini vacation to the East Coast visiting my mom and dad. I took over 380 pictures; Harvard, the beach, whales, lighthouses, old buildings and much more. Here is just a tease of our whale watch.

Washington Island

I don't remember if I have ever posted about Washington Island. "The Island" is located north of the tip of Door County. My in-laws have a place up on the Island and my first visit was back in 2003. I fell in love with the place right away. There is nothing fancy about the Island. It's quite simple and a little behind the times. But that is what makes it so special. The in-laws have a beautiful house on the lake facing East. We spend a lot of our time up there helping them do work around the house. I love to mow the lawn and it's a great workout for me. I usually do it after a 5 mile run which I get to run in the middle of the streets because there is hardly any traffic. We also help plant flowers and bushes, take down trees, cut wood and burn. After our chores we have a "moment" with an Island Wheat Beer. Of course we also over eat with great meals done on the grill.
We "meet" a lot of different animals including large spiders, long snakes, deer, many different kind of birds, and much much more. Here is a picture of one of the biggest spiders I have ever seen outside of the zoo.My brother-in-law, my husband, father-in-law and I love to go to the driving range and see how good (bad) we are at golfing.
The boys hard at work and I'm planting flowers.

It's my birthday Saturday - random thoughts

First of all, Happy Birthday to my sister Jenny. Today is her birthday. Growing up as kids my parents always celebrated our birthdays separately even though the days were only3 days apart . They wanted to make sure we felt our birthday was a really special day. We might have had our grandparents over for a weekend celebration, but on each of our birthdays we had our own cake, own presents and our special requested dinner.

I'm having dinner with four of my best friends tomorrow night. I am really looking forward to our time together. They are the best group of girls. I don't know what I would do without them. We chat throughout the day via email and experience all of our ups and downs together. They are my rock and my daily laughter.

We are thinking about selling our condo in downtown Milwaukee. Don't get me wrong, we love it and we love living downtown, but it's time to make the next big purchase. We have outgrown our place and we are looking forward to getting a house out West (not California West, Waukesha County West) We are going to take it slow at first, no hurry. But if you or if you know anyone that wants to buy a great 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom condo in downtown Milwaukee for under $200,000 let me know.

Oh yes, and children. Still don't have any and we won't anytime soon. Our second IUI did not work. It was a very emotional month for me. The hormones have taken over my body, so we have decided to take a month or two off. We want to be stress-free and I want to feel like myself this summer. Am I being a little selfish? Some people may think so, and thats ok. Until they do what I have been doing to my body they have no opinion.

I will be able to continue my blog this summer as being married without children, and thats not all that bad.

I have not been good at this

I have not been writing as much as I should. No excuse. I actually have been writing all my fertility experiences in a journal, I guess I could post some of those entries, but they may be boring.
My husband and I are very excited for summer. We were teased with 89 degrees yesterday, of course it didn't last. But it gives us hope.
The husband is still in school and finishing a class. He hopes to finish it by June 7th, the start of Jazz in the Park. He has 3 more papers. I don't miss school at all.
We are in two volleyball leagues this summer, that will keep us busy. The days we are not playing volleyball I am trying to squeeze in some runs.
We have decided it's time to try to sell our condo. We love it here in downtown Milwaukee, but it's time to move West and get a house. We will start casually and see what kind of bites we get.
We also decided to take a couple months off of fertility treatments. It was getting very emotionally and physically draining. I want to enjoy the summer and be myself!
Thats the latest.....